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Radically Inept
Wednesday, April 28, 2004
  A rant and a Prediction

The following is a contribution by Rick Eddy. I personally take no liability for the following remarks.

Well, it's late and I'm on my last good beer, the liquor is about gone 'cept the tequila, and man, I just don't feel like a tequila buzz right now. So I'll probably take a break at some point, and wander over to the renter's cabin and get some more near beer. Kinda of like real, but it's really near beer. You know, no flavor, no color, just alcohol in yellow tinted water. The renters are almost always a bunch of yuppies from Atlanta that think Budweiser and Miller Lite qualifies as beer. On the plus side, if I don't get too drunk, I can make it the quarter mile around the ridge in the dark, and take what they left in the cooler on the deck. They always leave a cooler on the deck. Then, after I'm done drinking their beer, I can piss in the bottles, screw the caps back on (I'm glad they went to screw tops), put 'em back in their cooler, and they won't ever admit they can tell the difference, and they probably can't. The down side is, hell, they could'a pissed in the bottles, put 'em back in the cooler, and I couldn't tell the difference.

What's really got me pissed tonight though, is I gave money to Shorty last night, and planned to be trippin' the lights fantastic tonight. Aint seen him since I gave him the money. And, hell, tonight's a great night to be trippin'. The stars are out. Anyway, if and when Shorty finally shows up, I got a good mind to let the dogs have him. They don't much like him anyway, never have, and I figure between the pit and the chow, there won't be much left to bother burying. And, what they don't get, the beagle will (she's a fuckin' chow hound in her own right). Whatever those three don't finish, the blackbears will. Pretty damn ecological the way I see it. And man, you don't appreciate what they can do, until you give them one of those huge ass bones you buy at the grocers to these dogs, and see the whole thing disappear right quick. 'Sides, I never liked Shorty all that much anyway. Don't really like renters either, so I don't think it's real immoral to take their beer, and whatever they left on the grill when they passed out. Course, I think if I let the dogs have 'em, someone might notice. Not like Shorty. Life aint easy up here in the mountains. Jeremiah Johnson and all that.

Well I promised his 'Ineptness' a prediction, so here it is. I expect to see a revolution in the next few, maybe ten years, but probably less. This country hasn't been this divided since the 'War of Northern aggression'; which by the way, was really about the fact that we had cheap labor (see slavery), which made all their machines less economical. They won, and then instead of slavery, we wound up with mill towns, which was slavery lite, and the KKK, but they made the money, and could sit up there and poo-poo the South. Hell, growing up I almost bought into that crap, well I did buy into that crap, until I saw the Yankees in Boston were the ones turning over the busses. Yeah, we used fire hoses and dogs, but by that time, we were cowed. A lot of us really bought into how progressive the North was, but it turns out they were only progressive 'til their kids had to go to school with the coloreds. All hail being rich enough to send your kids to private school. All Hail!

But the point being, there's not a shit load of difference between what's happening now, and what I remember from back in the sixties and early seventies. Matter of fact, I listen to my record collection, and, man, you can listen to "Drug Store Truck Driving Man" by Gram Parsons and Roger McGuinn, or just about anything by Steppenwolf, or the sound track to 'Hair', or CCR, etc. And, man, they all make sense today. Shit, they are today.

Well, I'd probably post more, and if Shorty had shown up, my posting would be a hell of a lot more colorful, if just as incoherent. Maybe not, you never know. If you know Shorty , he don't show up for you, don't look here, you won't find nothing. I guarantee that.

Oh, I'll be adding a line to my bio, sort of my own job hunt, "Currently seeking a country to rule". Cause why not? All the other kids are doing it.


 
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