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Radically Inept
Monday, July 26, 2004
  Convention coverage - Worse than olympic coverage - SEND DAVE

I can't do it. I can't force myself to watch the coverage of this farce. Worse, it's on every channel except the one - CNBC, and they have McEnroe on.

Quick Aside: Who thought McEnroe would make a good talk show host? You'd have thought they'd have learned their lesson from Dennis Miller. I mean, these shows can't be getting any kind of ratings, can they? Shouldn't there be a producer in the unemployment line?

Anyway, I was flipping from PBS to CNN to C-SPAN to FOX. How many people does it take to tell me about a speech I just heard? Why do they find it necesary to tell me what Carter meant when he said...

At least during Olympic coverage, they occassionally show an atheletic event (Oh, and this year I heard them promise they were actually going to show atheletes competing. That will be a real change. I don't think they've shown a sporting event during the Olympics since about '76.).

You know who should be covering the convention? Comedy Central. And, no, I don't mean The Daily Show; they'll be there, but...No. I'm talking about probably the best reporter you could put on a beat like this: Dave Attell.

Now there's a guy that would make the coverage fun. He'd be interviewing the maids and waitress. Getting drunk with the three protesters sitting in the 'free speech zone'. Show us where the good food is. Get us into the tv crew parties.

Most importantly, he'd go out and get the real story. How much are the Boston prostitutes raking in this week? Which call girl services are spending their time at which hotels? Which state delegation pays the most for prostitutes? What's the ratio of male to female prostitutes working the conventioneers? Oh come on. All those older women, away from their husbands.

Who was dumb enough to get rolled by a crack whore?

Where the best craps game? Hell, just ask the Taxi limo drivers.

This is where the news is. Not on that stupid conference floor where single thing uttered has been scripted and rehearsed. The convention itself is a joke. It's not like we don't know who the democratic nominee is going to be.

Come guys. Someone cover this thing right. Really. And if Dave Attell is busy, just wire me the money. I'll do it. Give me a small camera crew and a couple 'a five hundred a night, and I'll bring you some real convention coverage.

What the networks are giving us is seriously lame dribble. I mean, yes, they do at least lend an air of pompousness to an event that has nothing else going for it, but they ain't bringing us the convention that we know is happening.

So, if any of you readers know any one at Comedy Central, tell 'em:

SEND DAVE!!!

 
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