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Radically Inept
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
  The Candidates: The God of War vs a pussy.

Damn, I think I really like KEN LAYNE. I like anyone who can put together prose like this:
"'And you guys, you formerly cynical guys who now worship the incompetent Bush simply because you were told to do so, you're only making it easier for the Kerry people to win.'

Blair, too drunk to follow the entire convoluted sentence, caught on at the end and whimpered, 'How so?'

'Look at you people with this Vietnam boat nonsense. Every day, you're pounding home the fact that Kerry fought in Vietnam. You jackasses started this stuff so early -- with the 'Oh he protested the war' and the Jane Fonda photoshops -- that the Kerry people turned the whole Democratic convention into a celebration of the Vietnam War. Nobody even remembers being against Vietnam anymore. The next Vietnam movie will be a buddy comedy starring Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt, and all they're going to do is kill Charlie and win medals and dance with beautiful girls. It'll make $300 million on the opening weekend. They're going to tear down that bummer memorial in Washington and put up a 1,000-foot statue of a smiling American soldier proudly standing on a stack of golden skulls. You morons have made Vietnam the Democrats' favorite memory and greatest victory. Then you scream hooray when a gang of addled old Nixon bagmen show up in a teevee commercial to bitch about Kerry fighting in Vietnam, and once again the normal people with lives only remember, again, that Kerry fought in Vietnam and Bush didn't.'

'But,' Tim sputtered, 'Kerry clearly claimed he was in Cambodia several days before he was in Cambodia. It was seared--'

'Stop that,' I said, poking his neck with the corkscrew worm. 'Listen to yourself. What are you doing, again? That's right, you're reminding people that the other guy fought in Vietnam. Have you become so brain dead that you think this helps your girly boy Bush? Do you honestly believe the coward boy can beat the War Monster?'
And, I'll be damned. He's right. Some how, for whatever reason, the GOP keeps making a point of the fact that Kerry was in Vietnam.

And for a truly spiteful re-visionist history, I like this passage:
"Ha! Your girly Bush killed nobody. He signed off on lethal injections. He's a middle manager in a cubicle at the suburban branch of the Bank of Death, initialing memos he doesn't even know how to read. What kind of Texas oilman is your little girl? You ever see 'Dallas'?"

Blair nodded. Everyone has seen "Dallas," all over the world.

"Then you know how a Texas Oilman is supposed to act. What do you think J.R. would do if his wife told him to stop drinking?"

Visibly wilting, Blair stepped deeper into the shadows.

"That's right," I said. "J.R. would've thrown his glass of scotch at her goddamned head, and then he would've laughed and poured a fresh double on the rocks while she whimpered behind the sofa, fearing for her life. Laura Bush tells your beloved wuss to stop drinking and he just stops drinking? Who's the wife here? Not Laura Bush."
See. That's the Baby Bush I see. A total out and out pussy (I know, I know, not PC, but fuck it). I just hope the rest of Amerika actually does catch on. And every time someone makes a comment about Kerry's WAR RECORD, they'll ask, "Hey. Where WAS Baby Bush?" That's all I want. Just for people to ask themselves that question. Where was our gutless leader when the shit hit the fan? Probably reading children's books to kiddies like the most recent display of sheer, Radically Inept pussy-hood.

Anyway, you should go read "The God of War, Death & Madness" by Ken. He writes, I rant.

Oh, and thanks to Ezra Klein from Pandagon: Things You Should Be Reading, for pointing me to Ken's site.

 
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GEORGE W. BUSH - TOUGH ENOUGH TO TORTURE CHILDREN
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