Rick Eddy on NASCAR and 'Bidness'

Okay, here's another test of blogging and intellectual property rights. And, Rick Eddy says it falls under the Radically Inept 'nickel transaction' and the 'penny transmission' code.

So, if any of ya'll uses this idea, I get a nickel on every $1000 made on my idea. That's it. Just a nickel on a grand.

Oh, but that's on gross revenues, not net and sure as hell not profit. Rick Eddy t'weren't born yesterday. Like the old sayin' goes, "I was born at night, but it wasn't last night."

Anyway, this post is about NASCAR, and how to make money. Lot's of money. I have had this idea for years, and when I tell people about it, they all like it. They say it's cool, and it should make lots of money. I've even talked to lawyers, and 'angels', and they all like the idea, but they don't give me any money. Rat Bastards. I can't figure out why no one's done this before. Guess when you get rich, you quit lookin' at how to get richer? That don't sound right, and it sure don't sound American. Hell, we're a country built on greed. It's American like runnin' shine and burnin' books.

Anyway, this is about NASCAR. I tell you up front, "I hate NASCAR." I went to a couple of races over in Talladega back in the early eighties, and all I got was sunburned and drunk. Hell, I didn't even get laid. And NASCAR sucks. It's loud, and all they do is drive around in circles. I know, I know. My friends tell me I just don't appreciate the strategies involved, and the subtleties of the sport. Yeah, bullshit. NASCAR is boring. Drive around in circles for hours, and if you're watching and get lucky, maybe you'll see a few wrecks.

My friends say they don't watch to see massive pile ups, and carnage. Hell, if you ain't watching to see massive pile ups and carnage, you might as well read a fuckin' book. It's the only action your going to see, 'ceptin' the drunk women flashin' their titties for beer.

Now don't get me wrong. I like racing. I like taking my car and drag racing other cars. I like getting on two-lane country roads and racing to beat my last best time from Anniston to Auburn. I like cornering at 80 in an old four-door Dodge on rain slicked roads, where the speed limits posted at 45mph in that bright OSHA yellow. That's fun. Feelin' your rearend slidin' out from underneath, turnin' into the skid, pullin' back onto the highway. That's fuckin' real racin'.

I like getting on the interstate and passing every car I see. I get a rush if I can get to my father-in-law's in Tate City in under an hour and 45.

Hell, I even like racing around the 'big oval' we call I-285; the perimeter.

I like pulling the bumpers off old trucks and replacing them with railroad ties, so when someone slows me down, I can just push the pussy faggots into the wall. See - I do like racing, just not that lame shit they show on TV. Sport used to have balls, now it has got 'corporate sponsors'. Took a real sport, and turned into a lame ass social event. If you really want to see the fun shit, go to a dirt track on a Friday night. Hang out and drink beer with real people, and you can talk to the drivers all ya want.

Oh, you want to know about the railroad ties for bumpers? Simple , really. After you slammed into a few cars, and they get all marked-up with evidence, like the paint from a couple of slow ass Mercedes Benz, you just drive into Buckhead, look for a yard that's got nice land scapin' and used fresh railroad ties for their new retainin' walls. Just swap out the your dinged up, evidence filled ties, with their virginal ties. No one's gonna look for accident evidence, okay, not so much 'accident' as intentional rammin', but...Anyway, no one is gonna go siftin' 'round all the land scape timbers in Atlanta to find the ties I've swapped. And hell, if they do, try to prove them were the ties on MY truck.

But, this is about NASCAR. And business. Oh, and gettin'and bein' rich. I ain't ever been rich, but I figure once I was rich, I could turn all republican and stuff. You know, buy me a couple of senators, or something. Oh, that reminds me, what is the going rate for legislators, anyway? Like, can you get four or five representatives for the same price as one senator? Are there package deals, like if you want to buy an entire state's federal delegation?

Oh, and it'll be so cool. Once I'm rich I can sit around and do coke with my new found buddy, Bush Baby, and ask ol' Dick how much supreme court justices cost. Man, it'd be cool bein' rich. I could buy a diploma from some fancy Yankee school, and pretend to be somethin' I ain't, like old Pee-rot. I know, your thinkin' but you won't be the same ol' Rick Eddy that everyone has come to get used to lookin' to put in jail. Yeah, see...That'd be real cool, too. I could buy my way out of anything, or at most, get house arrest in my brand spankin' new mansion with it's own keg cooler, and a fishin' window over the river, and hell - just 'bout any damn thing I want.

'Sides, I been a criminal for a long time, so's I has got natural republican tendencies. It's innate on my mother's side. I just ain't ever had the money to be republican. But once I do, I'm going to do all them republican things. I'll be a good 'un.

Hey, that reminds me, don't be tryin' to screw me out my nickel on the grand (and that's on the gross, remember), cause I know some good lawyers. I know lawyers who'll work on a contingency basis, so don't go figurin' I'll go away, or ya'll can run me over or nothing like that. Hell, you try and cheat me, I'll hunt your ass down to your private fuckin' gated community, fuck your wife and children, and pop your ass.

"Sides, this could be a real friendly business relationship. All you gotta do is pay me what's mine.

Well, anyway, this is supposed to be about NASCAR and business. See it's like this. I figure you create a NASCAR amateur-bar-little league. I know, you're asking, "Just how fuckin' Radically Inept is this bastard?!" But, that ain't me, His Ineptness is clueless, I just write here so people will have somethin' to read sides his crap. And, I figure as long as I'm writin' here, I'll be tryin' to get my ass rich.

Alright, already. Here's how you do it - electronically. You take the basic business plan of the local bar pool/darts league, but you use those fancy racing video machines, the kind where you can see all the other drivers your racing against, and you link them up over the internet, so one bar team can play other bar teams from anywhere else in the country. Hell, world. You get these guys to pay league membership dues, the bars make money on the video play and/or the drinkin' that always happens when people play real sports -like pool, darts, bowling, fishn', huntin'. See, and at the end of the season, you'd have a championship race, and if you did this smart, you'd have the 'real' NASCAR winner race the bar league winner. Man, you could pay per view that shit.

It'd be awesome. Think of the product tie ins. Each company that sponsors a 'REAL' NASCAR, could put out and sell their own software package to reflect their cars performance. So, you could have Ford vs Chevy. And, the virtual cars would have all of the sponsors' logo's and decals on 'em, for everyone to see. You could have advanced leagues, and broadcast their virtual races just before the 'real' races. The money making potential here boggles the fuckin' mind. And hell, just like they buy fancy pool cues and darts, they'd buy 'cool' racing colors to wear.

And, think of the software sales! You want to tweak your virtual car's performance, buy this software package, which falls within the NASCAR virtual 'league specs', and you get an extra point of...Hell whatever. Don't matter. It's American sports fans, ya can sell 'em any-fuckin'-thing!

NASCAR's already one of, if not THE, fastest growin' sports in terms of popularity. And, everyone wants to be cool, get the chicks, the money, the fame from bein' a driver, and you sell 'em on this chance. They could race from within the safety of their favorite watering hole, and you don't care if they're drunk. Them that takes it seriously, well, hell, maybe you could find future 'real' drivers from that pool of 'proven' virtual drivers.

The real beauty is, the kids leagues. Oh talk about money opportunities. All them rich brats, buying the 'colors' of their favorite drivers. But, even more important, is the fact that they will have 'experienced' the sport. You know, that's how you sell a car. You get the customer behind the wheel to take a test drive. And, that's how you lock in the fan base of the future, you sell 'em early. Just like tobacco, but NASCAR.

No beer sales at that age, but you sure get 'em for life. And, you can get 'em world wide. Little Chinese Ford fans. Ah, the profit potential boggles the fuckin' mind.

I've got a notebook where I've laid out alot of the details, but all I ever bothered to write up on the computer is this partial outline:

NASCAR:

Home, school and bar based driving simulation leagues as a popular marketing medium.

Advantages:

1. There are no barriers:
a. Interface can be adjusted for any user. Totally handicap friendly.
b. Not geographically dependent. Today’s technology allows for global diffusion.
c. Not education dependent. Everyone has an innate concept of racing, and autoracing already has an established base.
d. Popularity will drive interface costs down. And, future development
e. It almost uniquely capable of riding the advances in telecommunications. As the technology becomes ubiquitous, so does the potential customer base.
f. Taps in on currently rising popular phenomenon of NASCAR. A sport from and for the common man, has been co-opted by the rich, and sustains popularity in both.

2. NASCAR:
a. Gains benefit of better using technology to access the global market for its product.
b. Allows Fan base a greater degree of interface with the NASCAR experience.
c. By developing a children’s “NASCAR LITTLE LEAGUE”, NASCAR increases its access to the youth market.
d. It combines the popularity of NASCAR, with the popularity of ‘gaming’, with popularity of sports.

3. Bars, billiard halls, game rooms, bowling alleys, upscale ‘Dave and Buster’s’ and “Chucky Cheeze” type environments
a. Are ideal venues for reaching adult and youth markets to establish ‘house leagues’ or leagues that
allow for inter-venue play.
b. They provide a variety of times and places.
c. Provides venues with an additional product to attract customers.
d. These venues are often already providing some form of league entertainment and are experienced in scheduling events, and in catering to ‘team’ customers.
e. Many of these establishments have equipment on hand which often would be convertible to the ‘NASCAR System’.

4. Provides additional venues for corporate sponsors to interface directly with their customers. People
could play in a variety of leagues i.e., the Children’s Coca-Cola League, the UPS League, or the ‘your company logo here’ league.
a. Proven marketable.

Just remember, it's my idea, and I want my money. Fuck the lawyers, I WILL hunt your ass down if you try and cheat me out of it. This is 'bidness'.  ¶ 10:56 AM